The Laws Of Infidelity

Has there ever been a case of infidelity where no one got hurt?  It’s possible, but very unlikely.

So how come there are so many adulterous instances taking place?  Well, people are highly capable of being selfish, and especially in relationships, for relationships are usually based on reciprocal needs and desires, and are seldom based in pure love.s

And should anyone doubt this, then look no further than the percentage rates of adultery: Male adultery at 60%, and females at 40% and rising.  Clearly, relationships that are based purely on romanticism are not enough to withstand their desires for something else when their needs aren’t being met.  In adultery, one partner is going to get seriously hurt, and mature adults are very much aware of this.  But, when the time comes, and the conditions are ripe, they just don’t care. Off they go in something of a whirlwind dance of selfishness.

And one of the strange facts of life is that very few of us would reprimand such acts.  Indeed, there are instances in which friends of the adulterer will collude and almost ecourage such acts.  It all seems like fair game.  But is it?  Is it fair that someone should be so decieved, that they should be treated so shoddily and disrespectfully?  How many other areas of life is this kind of behaviour accepted?  Most decent people wouldn’t tolerate rascism, or sexism, or any other ‘ism’ you care to mention.  But the psychological violence that infidelity is, seems to be tolerated with alarming passivity.

And why is that?  Why is it that people with otherwise decent morals will suddenly turn a blind eye to an affair?  Perhaps because it is accepted: it’s acceptable behaviour to be passive in such instances.  In many countries, adultery isn’t a criminal offence.  Why is that?  Is it because many of our world leaders are themselves engaged in such acts?  Certainly, that doesn’t send the best message to its citizens, because the sub text of this omission of making it law, is that we tolerate infidelity.  And does it take a giant leap of imagination that we once tolerated slavery in much the same way.  Yes, that is an extreme example, but it all comes down to human beings being treated without respect.  And it seems that at the present time we are quite prepared to accept this particular aspect of disrespect and violence.

What will it take for this attitude, this passive attitude to change?  Will there come a time when it is happening so much that it will reach alarming statistics.  So much emphasis is given to the sanctity of marriage and of the family, and yet at the same time there is this dreadful hypocrisy running in parrallel.  Will it change?  Time will tell.

Janice Townsend is a contributor for Healing An Affair and Getting Over An Affair
Both sites offer valuable resources for those overcoming the trauma of infidelity.

Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/the-laws-of-infidelity-777865.html

Infidelity And The Road To Recovery

Yes, you can recover from the tragedy that infidelity is, but it may take some time.  Probably best to think in terms of twelve months minimum, and most likely two years.

This may not be what you want to hear just now, as you may be at the very beginning of your trauma.  However, don’t think that you will be feeling the same way as you do now, in twelve months.

Sure, it will still be painfull in twelve months, but nothing like it is in the initial stages.  In the beginning there is shock, and lots of it.  That feeling of having the ground beneath one’s feet removed it all too common.

That stage is almost unbearable, those first few weeks where you can’t see how you will ever get over the trauma, you’re raw and struggling to find land as you slosh around in the great sea.

At this time you would probably be advised to select your best friends and family members and start talking.  Get it out, unload, and don’t keep anything back.  Just about the worst thing you could do is to keep it to yourself and remain silent.

If you’re lucky, you will find one or two people amongst all your friends and family that will listen, and not try to influence you or make you more angry than you already are.  Sure, you want them to be on your side, but you don’t want them flaming your partner and thus

making the situation worse.

Choosing the help of a professional such as a councellor would be a wise choice, even if you’ve decided that your relationship is over.  A good councellor ( find one that you’re happy with ), will guide you towards areas that you would find difficult to approach by yourself,

and thus move you into the central states of your experience.  Infidelity affects people in different ways, albeit that the overall effect is extremely painful.  But some people find that anger is there dominant emotion, whilst others find it may be self-worth or guilt.

Either way, a good councellor will guide you gently toward looking internally at the various thought and emotions you are experiencing.

One of the most difficult aspects of infidelity and the road to recovery is that the positive changes are often small incremental steps, and those steps forward often seem inconsequential. 

Of course, you want to feel better immediately, you want the horrendous thoughts and feelings to stop right now.  They won’t.  Be prepared for a marathon, and not a hundred-yard dash.

Janice Townsend is a contributor for Healing An Affair and Getting Over An Affair
Both sites offer valuable resources for those overcoming the trauma of infidelity.

Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/infidelity-and-the-road-to-recovery-777875.html