Are You In Denial About Your Cheating Spouse?

Denial doesn’t change the truth…

According to nationally known top Private Investigator Bill Mitchell, most victims of adultery & infidelity are in DENIAL about being cheated on.

Most women, when confronted about the likelihood that there spouse is cheating  make claims that their spouses would never ever cheat on them. However, according to statistics this could very well happen to them

Basically, these folks don’t really want to come to terms with the fact that their husband or wife, boyfriend of girlfriend violated their deepest trust and commited and act of personal treason.

It’s easier for them, the person cheated on, to make excuses, deflect or even ignore all the obvious signs of cheating, even when deep down they know it to be true.

Denial is the place where they retreat that insulates them from the hurt and pain of reality.

What is denial?

Denial is a way to avoid facing the negative consequences of reality (i,e. the possibility of divorce, shame, ridicule, financial loss, etc.)

If  you’re unwilling to face that your partner cheated on you on either a conscious or subconscious level, you’re in denial.

• Denial is acting as though there are no problems to face.
• Denial is a defensive response you use to protect yourself from the pain, hurt or suffering as a result of a cheating partner.
• Denial is when you mask to hide your real feelings or emotions.
• Denial is a what you do to avoid conflict, disagreements or disapproval from your cheating spouse or partner.
• Denial is a way of retaining our sanity when experiencing unbearable pain.
• Denial is a way to repress the truth of our loss a way to continue to function in “normally.”
• Denial is a pattern of life for individuals who are compulsively driven to “look good.” (What will my friend and family think?)
• Denial is a way to avoid the risk of change as a result of problems or loss (I’ve been married for “X” years, what will I do?).

If all the tell-tale signs such as: Physical Appearance, How He Relates to You, Conversational Clues,  Work Habits,  Day-to-Day Behavior, Financial Affairs, Travel, Personality Changes,  Absences,  Telephone Tip-offs,  Car Clues, point to cheating and you decide not to deal with it, YOU’RE IN DENIAL!

Do you find yourself denying your very existence to make everyone around you happy. Just could be that you’re in denial.

Denial is a common option because…

1. You may feel you have too much to lose if you don’t. An example is the classic case of a married man or woman who is in love with someone besides their spouse, but they obviously can’t admit it because they have too much to lose. So they live a life of quiet desperation.
2. Nothing will come of admitting the truth. Just like the above scenario, the person lives in denial because, to admit to whatever, will not bring any change to a situation.
3. You can’t handle facing the truth. Some people live in denial because the truth is too much to bear. It might imply the worst about themselves or create conflict and contradictions too impossible to deal with.
4. You don’t want to hurt those who “love you”. Denying the truth about something might occur when we’re trying to protect those who love us.
5. You want to avoid arguments and debates. Sometimes we deny the truth to avoid getting into arguments with others. Some people will pick a fight and start trouble with the “truth,” so we just deny our true feelings.
6. You can’t handle rejection and ridicule. Many people deny what they really feel because if they admit to it, they will be either rejected or ridiculed and their pride or low self-esteem can’t handle it.

But, the reality is…

1. Your situation will only get worse as time goes on; hiding your head in the sand, turning to alcohol, drugs, or work, won’t change how you really feel.
2. Adultery/Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal, in fact it’s nothing short of a fatality.
3. Not knowing the truth leaves you feeling hopeless and helpless.

There’s Another Option…

One option is to nothing by burying your head in the sand believing that things will change. Unfortunately, they won’t. The longer you put off dealing with it, the more painful it will be to deal with later on when reality finally sets in.

The best option is to take action and catch them in the act.

It’s time to act, now. Uncover the facts and let the truth set you free .

Get a copy of the free report How To Get The Truth Out Of Anyone.

How To Save Your Marriage After Cheating

A marriage is seriously damaged when one or both partners are involved in extramarital affair. Marriage is a covenant whose basis is in mutual trust.  When trust is lost between a married couple,  it threatens the very the foundation of the marriage, often beyond the point of repair.

The pain and bitterness resulting from an extramarital affair leaves both parties emotionally damaged. Both the person who cheated and the victim of thier infidelity are hurt. It is difficult to acknowledge that your partner has broken their marriage vows and after the period of denial, when the truth finally sets in, pain and anger generally follow. You are saddened, angered, reviled by the sense of ultimate betrayal.

Only you can determine if you want to save your marriage.  And, this decision can not be made lightly. The road back to sanity in the marriage will be long and hard. While you may forgive the cheating spouse, you have been violated and your ability to trust implicitly has been compromised.

Often the cheating spouse will place the blame on his or her partner. Cheating spouses often attempt to justify their cheating attempting to tear down the esteem of the injured party. Regardless of their flaws or even their culbability in the situation, the person who cheated made the choice to do so.

Only you can decide if you truly want to forgive your partner. It will be an extremely hard decision to make. But with proper counseling and a decision and commitment to honesty the relationship can be healed and trust restored.

If you feel your marriage can be saved, then it is important to sit down with your partner and careful discuss why this happened and what can be done to repair the marriage and to restore the relationship.

I advocate marriage counseling for both parties. As stated in previous post, the problem is not the cheating. The problem is the relationship.  A counselor can help both parties understand the underlying triggers that led to the infidelity.

Don’t make any quick decisions. Both partners need to really talk and decide whether their they want to rebuild their relationship and work on themselves both as individuals and as a couple; and why. Make sure that this is understood from the beginning so that high expectations will be tempered with judgment.

Now, if you’re beyond this point (maybe you’re married to a habitual cheater and you’ve had enough) then getting irrefutable proof to end the relationship once and for all may be your best option. Discover how you can find out the truth, quickly, easily and affordably with down to earth simple advice you’ll find in  CatchACheatingSpouse.

10 Signs of an Unfaithful “Cheating” Wife

Consider the Following Signs of A Cheating Wife…

You have been dating the same woman for over a year and you are considering buying her a diamond ring and proposing marriage. You start to look at rings and you actually put a payment down on one. Then, a week later you plan to surprise your girlfriend and take her out for her favorite meal at your favorite restaurant. When you arrive to pick her up, you find her with another man, in bed. Later, you find out it has been going on for months.

Possible Signs of a Cheating Wife

1. Highly suspicious – Believe it or not, the guilt that having an affair brings can make a cheating wife obsessive and controlling. She may even accuse you of having an affair in the hopes that her guilt will be met by yours. If she suddenly starts asking a lot of questions about where you’ve been and if there are any other women, look out.
2. Watch out if she seems to be unusually happy. Lately she has been very excited and happy except when you are around. Say, for example, you are meeting her and some friends at a club. As you are walking in, you see her sitting and laughing with her friends. As soon as she spots you, her mood may quickly change. She may become indifferent to being there and having fun, as if she wishes she were anywhere else but with you. She may also begin to be grumpy or even try to pick a fight. All these emotions could be signs that she is hiding a dark secret from you, and she’s trying to compensate for an extramarital affair the best way she can.
3. Your wife calls out another man’s name in bed. Whether it is when she is making love to you or just talking in her sleep. If she’s thinking about another man enough to say his name in the marital bed, this is a sure sign your spouse is cheating.
4. One of the really subtle signs your wife is cheating that you may not even notice is the passenger seat in her car. Many women pick up their lovers and drive them to some remote location for their interlude. If your kids are typically the ones sitting in that passenger seat and every once in a while the seat is pulled farther back, you should be ask yourself, why that is.
5. Changes in sexual behavior can also be signs of a cheating wife. Decreased desire for sex could be due to any number of factors, including stress or fatigue, but if your wife suddenly starts avoiding having sex, it is a cause for concern. Some women who are cheating will actually seek out sex with their spouses more often. This might be out of guilt or as a deliberate ploy to keep the husband from suspecting her extracurricular activities. Increased sex drive can also result from other things like hormonal changes, so it is best not to take that in itself as a sign of infidelity.
6. A drastic change of activities in the day is also another sign of a cheating wife. If she goes out to “shop” more often, or has “lunch” with her girlfriends much more frequently, this could be reason to examine your situation more closely. Also if she seems reluctant to divulge the details of the venue (the exact restaurant or the names of the friends who are joining her for lunch), there is a chance that she is having an affair.
7. The mileage on the car racks up, and suddenly her vacation days at work seem to have dwindled. She might be getting dressed for work and leaving the house, only to drive to the next town over to visit with her lover. She has been taking days off work to be with him! Check into her sick days and vacation time, and if you see there is time off unaccounted for; make a note of it.
8. With communication so easy with cellular phones, texting, phone media and so on people can connect with each other whenever they feel like it. The capricious highs of infidelity tend to lead to secretive communications becoming more frequent. If you find your wife often talking on the phone out of earshot or if you answer the phone only to have the caller hang up on you, there may be reason for concern. Also if you find she suddenly clears all her messages, text & voice, when she used to leave them there before, ask yourself why the sudden attentiveness to her cell phone mailbox. Just make sure she’s not planning a surprise birthday party!
9. Watch out for expensive gifts. Most of the women like shopping but they are generally reluctant to purchase exorbitant items for themselves, especially if they know their husbands are money conscious. If there is a new man in her life, she could be buying him gifts.
10. People often think that if someone is having an affair, then they will neglect their partner. This is often the case, but surprisingly the reverse is sometimes true. This is because of guilt. Women suffer more from guilt than men. So a cheating wife might appear extra nice when she’s with you, buying you gifts, cooking special meals and so on. The real giveaway in my experience is that despite this attention, your wife or girlfriend will probably find reasons for your sex life to become far less satisfactory.

These are all signs of a cheating wife. It does not mean that your wife is cheating but if you recognize significant changes in her behavior, such as those mentioned above, you will want to find out what is going on.

If you suspect your spouse of cheating, stop hiding your head in the sand hoping the problem will go away. Learn the truth now! Visit How To Catch A Cheating Spouse and discover proven and effective techniques to discretely catch your spouse in the act. Don’t be left in the dark wondering, waiting, and hoping the problem will resolve itself. Go to  How To Catch a Cheating Spouse and learn the truth – you’ll be glad you did!

How to Know If Your Spouse is Lying

When spouses cheat lying about the affair the natural outcome. The best way to handle this is to listen to each word they say carefully to catch any slip ups they do. See if the lying cheating spouse says something abnormal. For example, you can see if they say they have been somewhere where you know for sure that they have not.  Free Report: How To Detect Lying and Deception by a Romantic Partner

Watch That Eyes. Your spouse is sure to take their eye off you while saying a lie. (Please do not apply these to unnecessary issues and create a fight.) Evasive eye contact is usually a sure sign of lying.

Simple questions will take them off-guard.  Pay attention to facial expressions when they answer your question.

Voice inflection. It is common for a lying spouse to use a lot of fillers. There may be a sudden change of voice quality or tone. Stuttering, unsureness, etc.  All the previously non-existent signs begin to surface. Psychologists would suggest, it is the symptom of an imbalanced talk which is associated with lying and concealing.

Violent Eruptions.  If your spouse explodes every time you prod a little into his or her whereabouts during a particular time of the day,they may be afraid that the truth will surface. Violent eruptions can come about as a result of fear or as a tactic to get you off their back. Repeated episodes of unprovoked anger, especially about innocent inquiries are a sure sign that he or she is lying.

Are they just talking too much? – This is another sign of a liar! A liar would start filling in the space with unnecessary conversation because they just want to cover all corners. You see lying makes a normal person do strange things therefore if your spouse doesn’t really talk that much and has started talking too much all of a sudden then there is something wrong for sure.

Spouse starts mumbling. Instead of giving details about his or her actions, you might find that your spouse suddenly start mumbling about late night office meetings or hanging out with friends without giving you their names. Your spouse might also start thinking long and hard before giving any answers or might interject sentences with ‘umm’ or ‘err’.

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