Steve McNair: The Ultimate Price For Cheating On Your Spouse…

July 16, 2009 by abuhakim  
Filed under Cheating Spouse, Featured

Steve McNair & Sahel Kazemi

Steve McNair & Sahel Kazemi

I think Jason Cole, Yahoo Sports, summed up our feelings about the tragic death of Steve McNair in his article: Fans can’t avoid “the elephant in the room” at McNair’s memorial “There are a year’s worth of sermons and lessons that people could take from the death of Steve McNair at the hands of his unstable mistress.”

Here’s a man who seemingly had everything – beautiful wife and children, fame, money and the respect of his peers and community, yet something was obviously terribly wrong.

Steve McNair paid the ultimate price for cheating on his wife – death.

Somehow the public’s fascination with the rich and famous desensitizes them to the fact that a wife is now a widow, children are now fatherless and friends and family are left “struggling with questions.”
This incident should remind us that infidelity has consequences. It causes pain to everyone involved directly and indirectly.

Regardless of your position in life whether private or public the betrayal of marital infidelity destroys lives. Even if you’re not married; but in a committed relationship, the betrayal of trust hurts. It erodes the injured parties’ ability to trust in the future for fear of being hurt again.

We are not privy to the intimate details of the McNair’s marriage.  It remains a mystery. What is apparent is that his affair was very public by all indications, most notably the now infamous TMZ photo.

The unfortunate truth however is that most men and women involved in with a cheater will never take action. Whether out of fear of finding out the truth (denial), fear of financial loss, or fear of physical harm they simply acquiesce to the reality that their husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on them.

The real question will you take action if you suspect that your spouse or partner is cheating on you?
For most of us, if infidelity should strike our relationships, it will be far from the scrutiny of the media. It will be personal, but no less painful.

Breaking news of cheating spouses in recent weeks lets us know that the incidents of cheating are on the rise, not the decline.

Cheating on your spouse is fast becoming the norm, not the exception as evidenced by Governor Mark Sanford, South Carolina and Jon Goesslin star of the reality T.V. show Jon & Kate Plus 8.

What Can You Do If You Suspect A Cheating Spouse?

If you suspect your spouse or significant other is cheating, you have two options…

  1. Do Nothing…
  2. Get The Truth

Go here for my report, How To Get The Truth Out Of Anyone

Are You In Denial About Your Cheating Spouse?

February 17, 2009 by abuhakim  
Filed under Featured

Denial doesn’t change the truth…

According to nationally known top Private Investigator Bill Mitchell, most victims of adultery & infidelity are in DENIAL about being cheated on.

Most women, when confronted about the likelihood that there spouse is cheating  make claims that their spouses would never ever cheat on them. However, according to statistics this could very well happen to them

Basically, these folks don’t really want to come to terms with the fact that their husband or wife, boyfriend of girlfriend violated their deepest trust and commited and act of personal treason.

It’s easier for them, the person cheated on, to make excuses, deflect or even ignore all the obvious signs of cheating, even when deep down they know it to be true.

Denial is the place where they retreat that insulates them from the hurt and pain of reality.

What is denial?

Denial is a way to avoid facing the negative consequences of reality (i,e. the possibility of divorce, shame, ridicule, financial loss, etc.)

If  you’re unwilling to face that your partner cheated on you on either a conscious or subconscious level, you’re in denial.

  • Denial is acting as though there are no problems to face.
  • Denial is a defensive response you use to protect yourself from the pain, hurt or suffering as a result of a cheating partner.
  • Denial is when you mask to hide your real feelings or emotions.
  • Denial is a what you do to avoid conflict, disagreements or disapproval from your cheating spouse or partner.
  • Denial is a way of retaining our sanity when experiencing unbearable pain.
  • Denial is a way to repress the truth of our loss a way to continue to function in “normally.”
  • Denial is a pattern of life for individuals who are compulsively driven to “look good.” (What will my friend and family think?)
  • Denial is a way to avoid the risk of change as a result of problems or loss (I’ve been married for “X” years, what will I do?).

If all the tell-tale signs such as: Physical Appearance, How He Relates to You, Conversational Clues,  Work Habits,  Day-to-Day Behavior, Financial Affairs, Travel, Personality Changes,  Absences,  Telephone Tip-offs,  Car Clues, point to cheating and you decide not to deal with it, YOU’RE IN DENIAL!

Do you find yourself denying your very existence to make everyone around you happy. Just could be that you’re in denial.

Denial is a common option because…

  1. You may feel you have too much to lose if you don’t. An example is the classic case of a married man or woman who is in love with someone besides their spouse, but they obviously can’t admit it because they have too much to lose. So they live a life of quiet desperation.
  2. Nothing will come of admitting the truth. Just like the above scenario, the person lives in denial because, to admit to whatever, will not bring any change to a situation.
  3. You can’t handle facing the truth. Some people live in denial because the truth is too much to bear. It might imply the worst about themselves or create conflict and contradictions too impossible to deal with.
  4. You don’t want to hurt those who “love you”. Denying the truth about something might occur when we’re trying to protect those who love us.
  5. You want to avoid arguments and debates. Sometimes we deny the truth to avoid getting into arguments with others. Some people will pick a fight and start trouble with the “truth,” so we just deny our true feelings.
  6. You can’t handle rejection and ridicule. Many people deny what they really feel because if they admit to it, they will be either rejected or ridiculed and their pride or low self-esteem can’t handle it.

But, the reality is…

  1. Your situation will only get worse as time goes on; hiding your head in the sand, turning to alcohol, drugs, or work, won’t change how you really feel.
  2. Adultery/Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal, in fact it’s nothing short of a fatality.
  3. Not knowing the truth leaves you feeling hopeless and helpless.

There’s Another Option…

One option is to nothing by burying your head in the sand believing that things will change. Unfortunately, they won’t. The longer you put off dealing with it, the more painful it will be to deal with later on when reality finally sets in.

The best option is to take action and catch them in the act.

It’s time to act, now. Uncover the facts and let the truth set you free .

Get a copy of the free report How To Get The Truth Out Of Anyone.